She fuckings me ...trust lalalaa i tried to hard and she tore my feelings like i had none...and ripped them away..........*guitar solo*  i love that song...and the sad part of it is...I do have "shes" who hate me....like "tory" wow thats a new one...so fuck  em hate me if you want cant seem to do anything about that. LIke fuckign Twinkie....fat blahahahabaha god i hate that girls....there is no sheer amount to how much i hate that girl...id choose "Tory" over her anyday....and thats saying something......Her and chris should have little stupid fat ugly babies.....god he cost me more then just his dumbass....a hole...ill have a hole if she leaves.....a hole in me....cause i dont even like her like that anymore...just fucks things up...so fuck you god fuck you chris fuck you twinkie fuck you muller fuck you W bush....sorry im angry...can you tell? gah! fucking pisses me off to no end.....gah ! lol i need to go away for a very long time.

Goddamit...I learned a truth today......Nice guys finish last...if you dont believe me ive got some evidence hard evidence.....Grr i dont know what im gonna do...I just think it will go this way....but it deosnt...I guess you cant count out the human spirit and the attachment of two people. But i just want it to go thius way soooo bad.....so bad it hurts....But i think its gonna and then it doesnt. Which really sucks ive worked for months to go that way....ha it'll happen eventually its comforting.....Maybe i need to do a 180....Act like a total ass....be everything i dont want to be...A total Womanizer...i guess thats what girls want these days..A playa easy on the eyes....god...

Life is so funny sometimes...I mean it throws you complete curveball....My question to god or buddha or whoever is up there....Did you have to make love so damn complicated? I mean Its not healthy to fall in love with the gf of a former friend of mine........Its just so damn hard....I mean I sometimes want to run over there and act out a scene from a romance movie...Take her in my arms and spin around.......Plant one helluva kiss on those gnoemy lips....Gahh! its just so fustrating I mean i dont want them to break up.....I just want to stop feeling like this...but i cant...i just cant....I just cant control who i love...its kinda funny....well funny ironiclly...not funny Ha Ha..I think God has one hell of a sense of humor...You know hes got to have one...But shes just everything i want.....But gah i just want whats best for her..If thats leaving her alone i guess ill have to do that.....Hmm but hey then again they could break up..;-)  hahaha just kidding....I think ill end this little novella with some lyrics....

Firefly

By Breaking Benjamin

You're my friend
You're not like them
but I caught your lie
and you know I did
Now I'm lost in you
like I always do
And I'm dying to win
'cause I'm born to lose


Firefly
could you shut your lie
Now I know your ways
'cause they're just like mine
Now I"m justified
as I fall in line
and it's hard to try
when they're open wide

Take my hand
Peal me up and then
we'll come back again
to a different when
Now I like this way
you can't go away
If you catch the name
you could not replace



Bring me your enemies
Lay them before me
And walk away



Fuck you firefly
Have you lost your light
Now I hate your ways
'cause they're just like mine
So you lost my friend
such a sorry end
Now I don't know why
so I joke and smile

Single life is for the birds....Grrrr oh well im better then i was....Im ready to move on....Gyarr! Well hanging out with Brandy was fun i got to meet her family, they were cool....Got to watch Gilmore Girls..*gag* Hmmm Yah....Eating Cheetos! Brandy hast answered my Text yet...Grrr...Anywhooooooo I think i need to Break James's knees....little bastard....